I had a pivotal moment earlier this week that sneaked up on me without any indication at all that it was happening. I was thinking about my grandson, now 4 years old, and how lucky I am to be living with him so that I can see his goofy beautiful face every day. I started thinking about the course of events that brought me here. How so many years ago, when my youngest daughter was his age, I was just starting my life here with my girls. How much or how little time it took depending on the thought. How many incarnations of myself from that point to now. All of this while I was looking through some papers and allowing my mind to wander so I could get through the mundane task of sorting them all.
Then it occurred to me ... I had no more anger towards my ex-husband! When did this happen?! This emotion has been something that had been with me for close to 20 years. I couldn't really remember the last time I had that angry feeling about him. Mostly I felt glad I didn't still know him. Relief that I survived our years together. Happy that my daughters and I are happy. I expected to have this large "AHA" moment about it or feel differently like really, really aware of it at one precise moment in time or something major should have happened, like angels singing or some kind of neon sign blinking: "YOU ARE FREE FROM FEAR" ... something. Instead it was a quiet thought - whoosh - gone. I said, out loud: "I'm not angry any longer. He holds no power over me. I no longer dislike him; I have no emotions about him at all. I'm no longer afraid of him." and then to him in hopes the Universe will deliver my message: "I forgive you, I'm grateful you were in my life and I am happy with my choices after you no longer were."
Wow, I thought, there should be some sort of loud sound at this moment ... thunder clapping down from the skies, maybe? I actually looked around expecting something to be different. But nothing was different in my outside world. But a wonderful feeling of relief washed over me just as quickly as the thoughts from the inside. I knew I had truly found the forgiveness in my heart and soul for this person who had me fearful for way too long. I felt free, relaxed.
Another goal towards the enlightenment journey has been met. There are a few more people that have had a hold on me (without their knowledge, thank goodness) because I allow it. I am thinking it might not have to take another 20 years to do this thought process with the next person but when it happens, it will no doubt happen in a similar way. The thing about this kind of release is how light it makes me feel. I am positive I can't force it to happen but I will practice forgiveness on those that have made me feel badly about myself and my life choices. Those who should have no say at all in how I run my life but who have more power than they will ever know. Now that I know what it feels like to really be free from the fear, I'm guessing it won't take very long at all to get to the next one and the one after that.
I wonder if all of the things I'm struggling with inside my head will go this same way? One day I have the thoughts, the next day I don't? And will my body feel lighter from the inside out each time until when I meditate I will really feel like I'm floating on air? I do believe so.
I like these feelings and thoughts tonight. They have come quietly, peacefully. They are uplifting and happily I accepting them; I'm ready to accept them.
Stay peaceful.
This is a personal journal about the positive viewpoints from a recovering negative person.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
The Best Blog Ever!!
How odd that I was going to write something a few days ago when before I could save it, the internet shut down. I lost everything I wrote. At one time, I'd have gotten angry about that but now I get a small flash of annoyance and then think, oh well, it wasn't meant to be and I move on. I don't hold any emotion to things I can't control. And now I'm learning how to see emotions and separate them. Not easy to do but it IS possible!
Once the net came buzzing back to life a few days later, I found my email filled with junk but also filled with much wisdom! Tiny Buddha is a blog I love to read and am happy to share the posts when I can. Oddly enough, the post I was going to write and couldn't was close in context to this post. It's written much better than I could write it and says more than I ever could. I now know why I wasn't meant to write the one I started! I was supposed to read, enjoy and share this one!
There is a reason that I like it so much. It comes in my email every day and more than once a week, one post will "speak" to me or be written as if it was especially for me and my situation. Not many blogs do that on a regular basis like this one does.
This particular blog post shared below from Tiny Buddha might help you if you're struggling with thoughts and don't know how to break them down or even what they mean. Sign up for more reading through them, go to their archives and read what jumps out at you.
Here's the one that came in my email today:
Tiny Buddha
Enjoy!
Be at Peace.
Once the net came buzzing back to life a few days later, I found my email filled with junk but also filled with much wisdom! Tiny Buddha is a blog I love to read and am happy to share the posts when I can. Oddly enough, the post I was going to write and couldn't was close in context to this post. It's written much better than I could write it and says more than I ever could. I now know why I wasn't meant to write the one I started! I was supposed to read, enjoy and share this one!
There is a reason that I like it so much. It comes in my email every day and more than once a week, one post will "speak" to me or be written as if it was especially for me and my situation. Not many blogs do that on a regular basis like this one does.
This particular blog post shared below from Tiny Buddha might help you if you're struggling with thoughts and don't know how to break them down or even what they mean. Sign up for more reading through them, go to their archives and read what jumps out at you.
Here's the one that came in my email today:
Tiny Buddha
Enjoy!
Be at Peace.
Friday, May 4, 2012
It Boggles The Mind
Wow. I realized this evening that the old me would've held a grudge about a few things said and done these past few weeks ... even been livid with the thought of the things said by people who knew who I used to be but no longer know me as I am today.
I'm grateful for the experiences from my past. And it's sad that some can still put themselves right back to that one point in time and stay there and still feel the emotions of that day as strongly as they had just happened. Wouldn't it be better to move on, let it go, learn from these things?
Gathering people together and sharing a life event does that to some folks. My daughter just got married. I'm thrilled beyond belief for her and her future looks secure and bright. I wouldn't say one person in particular did more than anyone else to help her find this future. She did it all on her own and I'm very proud of her.
An off handed comment brought all of this up not so long ago; just before her wedding day. Making reference to a few weeks in my life when my daughters were young and we had just moved here after leaving my ex-husband and the help received during that time, made me wonder why now, after all these years, would a few weeks matter so much to this one person? But it did. I at first thought I was supposed to offer some monetary gift in exchange now after 20 years but even if I had it available, I'm not sure I could. What took place was a warm and loving gesture on their part but I was never under the impression that I had to continually thank them for it, pay them back or do something else other than what I had done. I can't honestly remember, but I'm fairly sure I made a few handmade things for them as a thank you. It was all I could do at the time and it's all I could do now.
For some reason, I believed the gesture was genuine and giving for the purpose of that alone. I might have been wrong, as the comment came from the spouse of the one who helped us those many years ago, mentioned it almost with anger that it happened at all which could mean the person who made the caring gesture might have been less than happy about how it turned out.
I'm positive I can't go back in time and say or do something different. Wouldn't it be great if we could do that?! I've given it very little thought lately, until this evening, about that particular time in my life. It wasn't fun. I had left my verbally and physically abusive husband with $10 in my pocket and two small children to raise. Having friends and family around me was terrific and made that transition from emotionally abused to healthy thinker so much easier. It was still difficult and until I learned to forgive the man and the situation I wasn't able to really feel healthy.
I'm positive it helped this person's spouse to let go of the feelings they've kept bottled up all these years and "let me have it" albeit in a slightly weak way since it was through a message in my online in box. I do, however, feel sad. Sadness washed over me tonight as I thought about it all. Why hold a grudge for something that doesn't require it? Was it really something that life-altering in their life? I wonder if it changed who they could have been - do they trust people less or feel in some way I took advantage of the situation? I truly hope not.
Because I don't know the answers and am grateful for all of my past mistakes and bad moments because it's brought me here and I like it here, I suppose finding that moment mentioned as a good one should be enough. It always was a nice memory until I saw it through someone's eyes. I have let it go, trust me ... the comments and the thoughts of that time hold no power over me because my daughters are both happy, I'm happy for them and I'm happy for myself as well.
If two weeks or a month - whatever the amount of time was (that sounds ungrateful but I truly don't remember how long it was, there was a lot going on at the time) that this person helped us get through a difficult situation was monumental in shaping us as we are today was ever in doubt, I'm here to tell you, it did help but that one single event didn't define any of us. Not the person who helped and not the receivers of the help. It was a kindness and as a kindness should never be given with anything except unconditional love which was always what I thought it was until this evening. I am surprised by the comment and that is what prompted writing a blog post about it in my "expanding my brain" way.
No longer able to be an angry person about the past, no longer willing to be physically altered in mind or spirit by a comment that was meant to hurt, I am happy to say I thought a lot about it this night and have decided I did everything right and would do it all, in the same way, all over again. For me it made me gladder than ever that I am no longer where I used to be in my thinking but have moved on, forgiven those that needed it, especially the ex-, let go of those that no longer wanted to be in my life (and this person was one of those people) as time went on. We drifted apart within a few years after this time mentioned.
The fact that I'm not the person I used to be means I don't have to react like the person I used to be would. I'm amazed in no small way to discover that I am so much stronger, healthier and happier in my thinking. If that's what is meant by taking the high road towards enlightenment, then I'm diggin' it and I'm headed in the right direction!
Seeing myself evolving into a calmer, more peaceful, well-rounded spirit was the reason for this journey, after all. Never wanting to intentionally hurt anyone while trying to live my life, I am once more going to say thank you for the help whether they ever read this or not - it's out there in the Universe now! Thank you, so many years ago for the kindness giving towards myself and my daughters during one of the hardest times in my life. And please know that if I could go back in time, I'd make sure to thank the spouse for any inconveniences that were made towards them. Something tells me that's what they've been looking for all these years.
Be at peace.
I'm grateful for the experiences from my past. And it's sad that some can still put themselves right back to that one point in time and stay there and still feel the emotions of that day as strongly as they had just happened. Wouldn't it be better to move on, let it go, learn from these things?
Gathering people together and sharing a life event does that to some folks. My daughter just got married. I'm thrilled beyond belief for her and her future looks secure and bright. I wouldn't say one person in particular did more than anyone else to help her find this future. She did it all on her own and I'm very proud of her.
An off handed comment brought all of this up not so long ago; just before her wedding day. Making reference to a few weeks in my life when my daughters were young and we had just moved here after leaving my ex-husband and the help received during that time, made me wonder why now, after all these years, would a few weeks matter so much to this one person? But it did. I at first thought I was supposed to offer some monetary gift in exchange now after 20 years but even if I had it available, I'm not sure I could. What took place was a warm and loving gesture on their part but I was never under the impression that I had to continually thank them for it, pay them back or do something else other than what I had done. I can't honestly remember, but I'm fairly sure I made a few handmade things for them as a thank you. It was all I could do at the time and it's all I could do now.
For some reason, I believed the gesture was genuine and giving for the purpose of that alone. I might have been wrong, as the comment came from the spouse of the one who helped us those many years ago, mentioned it almost with anger that it happened at all which could mean the person who made the caring gesture might have been less than happy about how it turned out.
I'm positive I can't go back in time and say or do something different. Wouldn't it be great if we could do that?! I've given it very little thought lately, until this evening, about that particular time in my life. It wasn't fun. I had left my verbally and physically abusive husband with $10 in my pocket and two small children to raise. Having friends and family around me was terrific and made that transition from emotionally abused to healthy thinker so much easier. It was still difficult and until I learned to forgive the man and the situation I wasn't able to really feel healthy.
I'm positive it helped this person's spouse to let go of the feelings they've kept bottled up all these years and "let me have it" albeit in a slightly weak way since it was through a message in my online in box. I do, however, feel sad. Sadness washed over me tonight as I thought about it all. Why hold a grudge for something that doesn't require it? Was it really something that life-altering in their life? I wonder if it changed who they could have been - do they trust people less or feel in some way I took advantage of the situation? I truly hope not.
Because I don't know the answers and am grateful for all of my past mistakes and bad moments because it's brought me here and I like it here, I suppose finding that moment mentioned as a good one should be enough. It always was a nice memory until I saw it through someone's eyes. I have let it go, trust me ... the comments and the thoughts of that time hold no power over me because my daughters are both happy, I'm happy for them and I'm happy for myself as well.
If two weeks or a month - whatever the amount of time was (that sounds ungrateful but I truly don't remember how long it was, there was a lot going on at the time) that this person helped us get through a difficult situation was monumental in shaping us as we are today was ever in doubt, I'm here to tell you, it did help but that one single event didn't define any of us. Not the person who helped and not the receivers of the help. It was a kindness and as a kindness should never be given with anything except unconditional love which was always what I thought it was until this evening. I am surprised by the comment and that is what prompted writing a blog post about it in my "expanding my brain" way.
No longer able to be an angry person about the past, no longer willing to be physically altered in mind or spirit by a comment that was meant to hurt, I am happy to say I thought a lot about it this night and have decided I did everything right and would do it all, in the same way, all over again. For me it made me gladder than ever that I am no longer where I used to be in my thinking but have moved on, forgiven those that needed it, especially the ex-, let go of those that no longer wanted to be in my life (and this person was one of those people) as time went on. We drifted apart within a few years after this time mentioned.
The fact that I'm not the person I used to be means I don't have to react like the person I used to be would. I'm amazed in no small way to discover that I am so much stronger, healthier and happier in my thinking. If that's what is meant by taking the high road towards enlightenment, then I'm diggin' it and I'm headed in the right direction!
Seeing myself evolving into a calmer, more peaceful, well-rounded spirit was the reason for this journey, after all. Never wanting to intentionally hurt anyone while trying to live my life, I am once more going to say thank you for the help whether they ever read this or not - it's out there in the Universe now! Thank you, so many years ago for the kindness giving towards myself and my daughters during one of the hardest times in my life. And please know that if I could go back in time, I'd make sure to thank the spouse for any inconveniences that were made towards them. Something tells me that's what they've been looking for all these years.
Be at peace.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
My Renaissance
My Renaissance. The 4th definition in the dictionary I use online says renaissance is "a renewal of life, vigor, interest, etc.; rebirth; revival."
I am feeling all of that and I must admit it is partially due to the time of year. There is a renewal happening outside watching my inspiration tree come to life again with bright green buds. I am in the very beginning of this same feeling that the tree must be experiencing. That could be why I relate to this tree so much. As the seasons changed, the tree and I changed with it.
I've been struggling with so many changes that life brings but also with boredom, which truly surprised me once I identified it. With family surrounding me and the obligations that go with being a Mom and Nana, my crafts and daily networking/social media activity, I still have time to be bored?? Yep.
Boredom with my creativity especially has been a biggie. I can't seem to get a handle on having no new ideas or thinking about trying something and seeing it done better and with much more talent by someone else almost immediately, I'm thrilled that I am working on a bowl I made myself out of strong mesh and plaster because it seems no one else is doing exactly the same thing, although mesh and plaster is not a new way to create in my world, at least no one is making a bowl. Bursts of energy that I used to have in abundance are now beyond me no matter how I eat, sleep, how many vitamins I take, how much exercise I get and so on. It seems to be more of a mental exhaustion. Not surprised exactly by this news but it gave me an official "aha" moment when I figured it out.
The good news is that the feeling I have is profound. I know that there are changes going on around me and within me. I need to stay as patient as I can and be open to the flow of change and growth. Something new or different, not yet explored, is going to be happening in my art, that is certain. I hope it's especially inspiring. That would be awesome. But even if it is just ho-hum, it will be awesome. The point is I feel the bubbling up of excitement and I like it!
Now that it is more difficult for me to cut/nip glass and tile without being in pain, I find I have a lot of days in between the cutting and nipping to study my many mosaic books and other art forms online often. I don't know where I'm headed with it all but I do know it's exciting to think I could be having my own sort of renaissance. Yay!
I've been studying the trends I follow or am drawn towards. Mid-century modern styles. The retro shapes and signs from Las Vegas and bowling alleys, bright reds, yellows and checkered black and white designs used in decorating. Sage green, grape, burnt orange, blue. Copper, wood, enamel. Cottage/beach/rustic/woodland/French country decor. Eames furniture designs and Kadinsky's art. I wouldn't have defined my personal styles (eclectic at the very least) if I didn't have an injury that stops me from doing what I used to do. Some days I have to lay flat because of pain but I watch shows on cable that have to do with design or history. I wouldn't have discovered much of this if I hadn't had to deal with pain. There's the silver lining, the positive spin, the icing on the cake!
I do believe I have to spend less time promoting and more time working. I like to share what I'm doing and I like to share what I find by others, so instead of stopping completely, I've honed in on utilizing sites like Pinterest and Facebook to share without spending every day, hours at a time, on it.
Monday's and Wednesday's are big social network promoting days. I spend 6-8 hours doing the Wordpress blog, Etsy treasuries, sharing on teams I belong to on Etsy, Flickr, Facebook and Pinterest. This will not change. The rest of the week used to be dedicated to sharing others' items I'd find and often featuring one of my own items on Etsy on the blog. I won't be doing that any longer. I will continue to do the daily pick for my "Eye For Design and Color" on tumblr because I enjoy it, even if it takes a while to do.
After I re-injured myself a few weeks ago doing something very simple, by reaching my left arm behind me to unlock the door while I was in my car and felt something akin to a rubber band snap inside my arm (ouch), I decided to cut back on promoting others' work as much as I once did and spend more time on healing myself and spend time with my craft. Now that time is limited on the computer, I have more time to spend doing other things. I'm glad because this opens up a whole slew of time spent creating and learning on days when I can't create. It also means when I am online, I have to make the most of it and use the time much wiser than I used to. Quality time with the crafts I love and sharing online will never stop but may change as I do, as time goes on.
I hope I live one minute at a time and really mean it, after knowing how quickly I can hurt myself, just by physically reaching --- the good news is all that means is I have to reach mentally and not physically towards the heavens above --- the sky's the limit!!. In all seriousness, I know stretching shouldn't cause pain, which means as soon as it's possible, I'll be headed towards a doctor to help me through this and to heal properly. I have come a long way by doctoring myself but I know I need more help than I can give to myself.
I am enjoying each small achievement and obstacle alike because it's all part of the greater experience. Something is changing here within me ... a shift is happening. Even with limitations, things suddenly feel more possible than ever! Amazing!!!
Meditation, quiet time and contemplation are part of my life even more than before. I enjoy the noise my family provides and I enjoy the quiet provided when they are asleep. I am making the most of each moment as it comes.
Happy Renaissance!!
Be at peace.
I am feeling all of that and I must admit it is partially due to the time of year. There is a renewal happening outside watching my inspiration tree come to life again with bright green buds. I am in the very beginning of this same feeling that the tree must be experiencing. That could be why I relate to this tree so much. As the seasons changed, the tree and I changed with it.
My Inspiration Tree Coming Back To Life
I've been struggling with so many changes that life brings but also with boredom, which truly surprised me once I identified it. With family surrounding me and the obligations that go with being a Mom and Nana, my crafts and daily networking/social media activity, I still have time to be bored?? Yep.
Boredom with my creativity especially has been a biggie. I can't seem to get a handle on having no new ideas or thinking about trying something and seeing it done better and with much more talent by someone else almost immediately, I'm thrilled that I am working on a bowl I made myself out of strong mesh and plaster because it seems no one else is doing exactly the same thing, although mesh and plaster is not a new way to create in my world, at least no one is making a bowl. Bursts of energy that I used to have in abundance are now beyond me no matter how I eat, sleep, how many vitamins I take, how much exercise I get and so on. It seems to be more of a mental exhaustion. Not surprised exactly by this news but it gave me an official "aha" moment when I figured it out.
The good news is that the feeling I have is profound. I know that there are changes going on around me and within me. I need to stay as patient as I can and be open to the flow of change and growth. Something new or different, not yet explored, is going to be happening in my art, that is certain. I hope it's especially inspiring. That would be awesome. But even if it is just ho-hum, it will be awesome. The point is I feel the bubbling up of excitement and I like it!
Now that it is more difficult for me to cut/nip glass and tile without being in pain, I find I have a lot of days in between the cutting and nipping to study my many mosaic books and other art forms online often. I don't know where I'm headed with it all but I do know it's exciting to think I could be having my own sort of renaissance. Yay!
I've been studying the trends I follow or am drawn towards. Mid-century modern styles. The retro shapes and signs from Las Vegas and bowling alleys, bright reds, yellows and checkered black and white designs used in decorating. Sage green, grape, burnt orange, blue. Copper, wood, enamel. Cottage/beach/rustic/woodland/French country decor. Eames furniture designs and Kadinsky's art. I wouldn't have defined my personal styles (eclectic at the very least) if I didn't have an injury that stops me from doing what I used to do. Some days I have to lay flat because of pain but I watch shows on cable that have to do with design or history. I wouldn't have discovered much of this if I hadn't had to deal with pain. There's the silver lining, the positive spin, the icing on the cake!
I do believe I have to spend less time promoting and more time working. I like to share what I'm doing and I like to share what I find by others, so instead of stopping completely, I've honed in on utilizing sites like Pinterest and Facebook to share without spending every day, hours at a time, on it.
Monday's and Wednesday's are big social network promoting days. I spend 6-8 hours doing the Wordpress blog, Etsy treasuries, sharing on teams I belong to on Etsy, Flickr, Facebook and Pinterest. This will not change. The rest of the week used to be dedicated to sharing others' items I'd find and often featuring one of my own items on Etsy on the blog. I won't be doing that any longer. I will continue to do the daily pick for my "Eye For Design and Color" on tumblr because I enjoy it, even if it takes a while to do.
After I re-injured myself a few weeks ago doing something very simple, by reaching my left arm behind me to unlock the door while I was in my car and felt something akin to a rubber band snap inside my arm (ouch), I decided to cut back on promoting others' work as much as I once did and spend more time on healing myself and spend time with my craft. Now that time is limited on the computer, I have more time to spend doing other things. I'm glad because this opens up a whole slew of time spent creating and learning on days when I can't create. It also means when I am online, I have to make the most of it and use the time much wiser than I used to. Quality time with the crafts I love and sharing online will never stop but may change as I do, as time goes on.
I hope I live one minute at a time and really mean it, after knowing how quickly I can hurt myself, just by physically reaching --- the good news is all that means is I have to reach mentally and not physically towards the heavens above --- the sky's the limit!!. In all seriousness, I know stretching shouldn't cause pain, which means as soon as it's possible, I'll be headed towards a doctor to help me through this and to heal properly. I have come a long way by doctoring myself but I know I need more help than I can give to myself.
I am enjoying each small achievement and obstacle alike because it's all part of the greater experience. Something is changing here within me ... a shift is happening. Even with limitations, things suddenly feel more possible than ever! Amazing!!!
Meditation, quiet time and contemplation are part of my life even more than before. I enjoy the noise my family provides and I enjoy the quiet provided when they are asleep. I am making the most of each moment as it comes.
Happy Renaissance!!
Be at peace.
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Cookie Thief by Valerie Cox
A woman was waiting at an airport one night
With several long hours before her flight
She hunted for a book in the airport shop
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see
That the man beside her as bold as could be
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene
She munched cookies and watched the clock
As this gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by
Thinking "If I wasn't so nice I'd blacken his eye"
With each cookie she took he took one too
And when only one was left she wondered what he'd do
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh
He took the last cookie and broke it in half
He offered her half as he ate the other
She snatched it from him and thought
"Oh brother! This guy has some nerve and he's also rude
Why he didn't even show any gratitude"
She had never known when she had been so galled
And sighed with relief when her flight was called
She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat
Then sought her book which was almost complete
As she reached in her baggage she gasped with surprise
There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes
"If mine are here" she moaned with despair
"Then the others were his and he tried to share"
Too late to apologize she realized with grief
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief
Stay peaceful.
Friday, March 16, 2012
How Are You?
After completing the 21 Day Meditation Challenge provided by the Chopra Center I feel well both mentally and emotionally. Physically I'm still struggling but with a better outlook from the inside, the rest is easier to handle.
How are you doing? Did you do the Challenge? What did you get from it, if anything? What are your favorite meditations to do to help you through your life challenges?
I went for a short walk this evening after a rather trying day filled with noisy grandchildren and the stress that comes with constant activity created by 4 very different personalities. I took my camera, even though it was just before dusk and decided to take a few photos of the trees and sky. At some point in the future, I want to mosaic this:
Feel free to leave comments here; all are welcome. If you'd like to chat, send me an email through earthmothermosaics@yahoo.com any time.
Stay peaceful.
Cindy
How are you doing? Did you do the Challenge? What did you get from it, if anything? What are your favorite meditations to do to help you through your life challenges?
I went for a short walk this evening after a rather trying day filled with noisy grandchildren and the stress that comes with constant activity created by 4 very different personalities. I took my camera, even though it was just before dusk and decided to take a few photos of the trees and sky. At some point in the future, I want to mosaic this:
Feel free to leave comments here; all are welcome. If you'd like to chat, send me an email through earthmothermosaics@yahoo.com any time.
Stay peaceful.
Cindy
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Change Your Mind
I can't believe how good I feel now that I've found inspiration again. Physically I'm still struggling a little bit, but I tell myself it takes time to heal and I'll get there. It's more than a physical thing, I know. I need to do a lot of emotional healing from the past few years of "hard knocks".
I pulled up some audios I had on my computer in the morning yesterday to listen to them while I was working on a mosaic. Our internet was down and I thought it would be the perfect day to play "in the studio". I posted on the Wordpress blog this morning my weekly studio news for those who'd like to hop over and read it once you're finished here. The link will be added at the end of this post.
My favorite things to listen to, besides music, are inspirational speakers I have on mp3's on my computer. Uplifting messages coming through the air as I work on a mosaic or cut up glass or paint or whatever it is that I'm doing. It seems to really sink in more than when I plug in with headphones and sit quietly and try to listen. I have a brain that will NOT shut off and if I sit for a while, it sees this as an opportunity to think about the day, what needs to be done, life, food, conversations and so on. I am not sure why I focus better when I'm doing mosaics or painting but if my hands are busy doing something I like to do, I concentrate more on the messages coming through. Perhaps it's the whole left/right brain thing. If I'm busy creating with the proper side of the brain, the other side of the brain can learn something.
I pulled up some audios I had on my computer in the morning yesterday to listen to them while I was working on a mosaic. Our internet was down and I thought it would be the perfect day to play "in the studio". I posted on the Wordpress blog this morning my weekly studio news for those who'd like to hop over and read it once you're finished here. The link will be added at the end of this post.
My favorite things to listen to, besides music, are inspirational speakers I have on mp3's on my computer. Uplifting messages coming through the air as I work on a mosaic or cut up glass or paint or whatever it is that I'm doing. It seems to really sink in more than when I plug in with headphones and sit quietly and try to listen. I have a brain that will NOT shut off and if I sit for a while, it sees this as an opportunity to think about the day, what needs to be done, life, food, conversations and so on. I am not sure why I focus better when I'm doing mosaics or painting but if my hands are busy doing something I like to do, I concentrate more on the messages coming through. Perhaps it's the whole left/right brain thing. If I'm busy creating with the proper side of the brain, the other side of the brain can learn something.
I just finished writing the blog series
drafts on the Wordpress blog about my summer and I was in need of
some healing. I put myself right back there and the depression, frustration and upset that was what I was dealing with no matter how hard I tried to stay positive and see a good side (which I did eventually see) was with me once more. I have been doing the meditations I always do every day adding it to the 21 day challenge from the Chopra Center. I have times where I feel completely at peace and energized during that time. But when
I write about things that are less than positive in nature I start
thinking about them more. They stay with me for a while. I know this,
so when I've gone through something negative in thought or nature, I
pull out the audios to help me find my balance again.
I listened to Wayne Dyer (no surprise)
in a series of audios I have listed as "Inner Wisdom". It
ranges from 1976 to 2002. There are 40 audios that all run about 20
to 30 minutes each. I usually don't get through them all in one work
session, obviously, but I let them go from one to the next and often
stop and think about what he is saying to allow it really to get into
my brain.
Here is what I heard this day: "What
you think about ... expands".
Really think about this sentence: "What
you think about expands."
Read it again.
"What you think about expands."
Financially: If you worry about lack of
money all the time, if you become obsessed about what you don't have,
you keep yourself in a poverty state. Life has no choice but to stay
that way or get even worse.
"What you think about expands."
Physically: Have you ever said after
you sneezed: "Oh boy, I'm getting that cold that's going around. I know it's going to
hit me at it's worst tomorrow when I have a lot to do and it's going to
make it harder to do everything and I'm going to feel horrible. And it'll probably stick with me for
weeks and I'll get nothing done. I'll probably be in bed for at least 3 days. Ugh. I just know I'm getting that cold ..."
You've already put yourself there, in
that sickness, and even allowed it to stay for weeks. And chances
are, the next day, you feel horrible. You've got that cold and indeed
it does stay for weeks and you feel just awful through the whole
ordeal. What choice did it have? And when you are sick with the cold the next day, what do you say? "I KNEW IT!!"
Thoughts are energy. This energy goes out into the world and the Universe hears it, in a vibrations kinda way and we manifest what we don't want because that's where the focus is.
Thoughts are energy. This energy goes out into the world and the Universe hears it, in a vibrations kinda way and we manifest what we don't want because that's where the focus is.
Why do we do that to ourselves?
Thoughts are so powerful. They are everything. As Dr. Dyer says: "Everything we experience in life is thought." They can cause illness and stress. They can make a good relationship good and a bad one bad. They
can also cause happiness, health and less stress if we change the way
we think as a negative person does. Even just a little bit of an altered thought can make a difference.
The next time you sneeze, if you are
prone to thinking like the example above, try this instead. Sneeze
and then say: "Okay cold, you have attempted to enter the wrong
body! You are NOT going to be a bother to me at all and have no power
over me. I don't want you anywhere near me. I choose to stay and feel
healthy. I am healthy."
Now there's no indicator that when you
sneezed it was just dust. There is a good possibility that an
airborne virus or germ found it's way into your nose and your system.
And it's just as likely that the next day after that dreaded sneeze
you COULD have a cold. But here's the interesting thing, even with a
cold, if you keep thinking in a positive way instead of a negative
way, it won't last long, you won't need to stay in bed for a week.
There is as much of a possibility that the sneeze was dust as much as
a possibility that it was a germ. Why start thinking the worst things
about that one tiny sneeze first?!
This is true with everything we think.
I mean EVERYTHING!
I often would go right for the most
horrible things to think and would obsess about these horrible things
until sure enough, they would manifest. Once I started to re-train my
brain to hear a negative thought and learned to switch it, when ever
I would hear it, to a positive thought, life got a lot better. It may
not be different ... the outcome from what was a bad sitution may
still happen. But I'd rather have a positive attitude about life in
general to get me through the bad situations than to be stressed out
all the time, making myself ill from stress and then trying to deal
with the situation that requires me to handle it if it is a difficult
one.
Using the cold analogy once more, would
you rather have a week of feeling accomplished and enjoying time with
your family and friends with the sniffles or would you rather have a
week of feeling miserable, in your bed most of the time, complaining
to everyone within earshot about how sick you are?
Let's face it. Some of us do enjoy
misery. I used to. I found people around me that vibrated to the same
frequency and we were all miserable together. It was wonderful
because we all understood each other. We all tried to one-up each other too in our misery. We weren't happy unless we were miserable. "Poor me,
I'm miserable" or "Why does this always happen to me?!" I'd say and that would start everyone else to go there
with me.
Once I started thinking in a more
positive light and really got that sentence Dr. Wayne Dyer said: "What
we think about expands" I noticed so many people around me were
unhappy, sad individuals who were looking for others to feed their
fears. I didn't want to go through life like that. I wanted to enjoy
myself, feel good, be as active as I could be and sleep well, be
healthy and share my positive ideas with others. I found people who
were more upbeat to hang with, associate with and chat with online who love their life, their family, friends and
co-workers.
You can feel the energy people have. I worked with someone a long time ago who, when entering a room, gave off an energy that was so filled with stress and what I call static that the air charged up around them. This particular person fought with others often, was loud and sometimes rude, and always had major drama happening in their life. If you are drawn towards that static, negative stuff – try to figure out why you want to be there if you're unhappy about it. What do you need to learn about yourself? I like to feel positive energy in people and I almost float towards it now. I feel good when I'm around people who feel good. It's my choice. I changed my mind about how I wanted to feel every day.
Not so long ago I saw a person I know who has 3 small children under 10. Her life is always loud and active. The youngest is 2. Before the 3rd child was born this parent had to go through one of the worst possible life events I can imagine a parent can. She had to bury a baby after it's birth.
On this particular day, all 3 children were giving her a hard time and she was stressed and fussing loudly about their hectic energy and how noisy they were. Someone asked her if she wanted more children some day and she offhandedly said sometimes she doesn't want the kids she has. Those around her laughed and the noise and energy that only children have, continued as she attempted to wrangle them up and head on home. A week later, her middle child while not listening although both the adults with her were screeching at her to stop, kept running, ignoring them and came very, dangerously close to be hitting by a car. After hearing this, the first thing that came to mind was hearing her Mom say she didn't want the kids she had. I have heard that phrase used often. The parents never mean it when they say it and it's been said by many and always followed by a knowing nod and laughter. But the universe doesn't know that it's just a joke or that it doesn't mean anything when it was mentioned. It vibrates out there and if constantly thought about long enough, it stays until it manifests. I'd say this child had some divine intervention that day because she's still here among us, happy and still noisy and giving her Mom trouble on a daily basis. I wish I could share my insight on the way thoughts work with the Mom without making her want to crawl into a hole and stay there. But I know it isn't my place to do that. The child has recovered from the incident. I believe the Mom never will.
You can feel the energy people have. I worked with someone a long time ago who, when entering a room, gave off an energy that was so filled with stress and what I call static that the air charged up around them. This particular person fought with others often, was loud and sometimes rude, and always had major drama happening in their life. If you are drawn towards that static, negative stuff – try to figure out why you want to be there if you're unhappy about it. What do you need to learn about yourself? I like to feel positive energy in people and I almost float towards it now. I feel good when I'm around people who feel good. It's my choice. I changed my mind about how I wanted to feel every day.
Not so long ago I saw a person I know who has 3 small children under 10. Her life is always loud and active. The youngest is 2. Before the 3rd child was born this parent had to go through one of the worst possible life events I can imagine a parent can. She had to bury a baby after it's birth.
On this particular day, all 3 children were giving her a hard time and she was stressed and fussing loudly about their hectic energy and how noisy they were. Someone asked her if she wanted more children some day and she offhandedly said sometimes she doesn't want the kids she has. Those around her laughed and the noise and energy that only children have, continued as she attempted to wrangle them up and head on home. A week later, her middle child while not listening although both the adults with her were screeching at her to stop, kept running, ignoring them and came very, dangerously close to be hitting by a car. After hearing this, the first thing that came to mind was hearing her Mom say she didn't want the kids she had. I have heard that phrase used often. The parents never mean it when they say it and it's been said by many and always followed by a knowing nod and laughter. But the universe doesn't know that it's just a joke or that it doesn't mean anything when it was mentioned. It vibrates out there and if constantly thought about long enough, it stays until it manifests. I'd say this child had some divine intervention that day because she's still here among us, happy and still noisy and giving her Mom trouble on a daily basis. I wish I could share my insight on the way thoughts work with the Mom without making her want to crawl into a hole and stay there. But I know it isn't my place to do that. The child has recovered from the incident. I believe the Mom never will.
I work at really listening to what I say constantly and I try to keep a positive spin on it. I fall
back into a negative frame of mind every so often. Like I just recently did after writing the posts that had me depressed and physically hurt. But for the most
part, I am 75% a positive person. That is an awesome statement!! I
used to be 25% maybe even only 10% positive not so very long ago. It
took a lot of years, constantly listening to my favorite audio tapes by my favorite inspirational guru's and
reading books written by my favorite inspirational mentors (Dyer, Chopra, Tolle, Hay and so on) to really
get it.
One of my favorite songs is called "Change Your Mind" sung by Sister Hazel. It was used in one of my favorite movies "Bedazzled" with Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley. "Change Your Mind" Written by Ken Block, Jeff Beres, Andrew Copeland, Ryan Newell and Mark Trojanowski Courtesy of Universal Records, Inc. Under license from Universal Music Enterprises.
One of my favorite songs is called "Change Your Mind" sung by Sister Hazel. It was used in one of my favorite movies "Bedazzled" with Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley. "Change Your Mind" Written by Ken Block, Jeff Beres, Andrew Copeland, Ryan Newell and Mark Trojanowski Courtesy of Universal Records, Inc. Under license from Universal Music Enterprises.
"Change Your Mind"
Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today
Oh
no-If
you never want to have
To
turn and go away
You
might feel better,
Might
feel better if you stay
Yeah
yeah
I
bet you haven't heard
A
word I've said
Yeah
yeah
If
you've had enough
Of
all your tryin'
Just
give up
The
state of mind you're in:
[Chorus]
If
you want to be somebody else,
If
you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If
you want to be somebody else
Change
your mind...
Hey
hey-
Have
you ever danced in the rain
Or
thanked the sun
Just
for shining-just for shining
Over
the sea?
Oh
no-take it all in
The
world's a show
And
yeah, you look much better,
Look
much better when you glow
Hey
hey-what
ya say
We
both go and seize the day
'cause
what's your hurry
what's
your hurry anyway
[Chorus]
If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...
Once I changed my mind, I started to look better. I started to glow, just like the song says.
With age, comes wisdom. And with wisdom
comes this thought spoken first by Dr. Dyer: "get off the scarcity thoughts and start
thinking about what you have, rather than what's missing". I am very blessed to have discovered this man back in the early 80's. He continues to transform my life to this day.
"Focus on what you want to expand
in your life. If you're always thinking about what you don't have,
than what you don't have is going to expand."~Dr. Wayne Dyer
Final thoughts: What could be considered a mere coincidence was, in my mind, a BIG universal nudge to find perspective in my life. Last night I decided to channel surf and find something on TV while I nipped up stained glass after dinner. Normally I listen to music or leave something on that the grandchild was watching the last time TV was on in my room. I will admit that I do love SpongeBob (talk about optimistic!!). But last night, I found PBS and the newest Dyer show "Wishes Fulfilled". He looked good; very healthy. A major accomplishment as he was diagnosed with leukemia. When he walked on stage and said "I am well" I cried. It makes me well up tearfully right now just remembering that moment. He then proceeded to talk about ways to manifest things into your life, such as well-being and good health as well as give many anecdotes as he always does and what keeps me entertained so much when he does talks on the audios and videos I possess in my personal library. One of the phrases he used last night was "Quantum Healing". Now, that snapped me to attention. Something more was happening here than just being fortunate enough to find this program when I needed something to watch while working. That phrase "Quantum Healing" was the title of the meditation for Day 16 of the Meditation Challenge with the Chopra Center which was yesterday.
I know ... while there's a possibility, I suppose, slim as it is, that Chopra and Dyer, buddies and friends, could have convinced the TV network at PBS and the people who make the decisions as to what should be the meditation for each day during the Challenge (Chopra is one of them, I'm assuming, since he does a few meditations during the weeks) to run these things on the same day, I seriously doubt it. I believe, what happened was that I was meant to listen/watch Dyer talk about his latest book and life adventures on the same day I learned and listened to the Quantum Healing meditation in order for the lessons of each to really make an impact.
Bless you, Dr Wayne Dyer for your
teachings and for coming into my home daily with something new for me
to think about. If it weren't for the audios and videos I have available, I am positive I wouldn't be a positive person at all. I'd still be less than happy, less than grateful, less than peaceful.
Stay peaceful.
Cindy
"In the Studio" News for this week: http://earthmothermosaics.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/in-the-studio-64/
"In the Studio" News for this week: http://earthmothermosaics.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/in-the-studio-64/
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