Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Peaceful Approach

Having just had another slow spin around the sun, turning 58 three weeks ago has been good for me. I seem to have acquired an inner voice that guides me more now than ever before. No ... let me correct that ... I seem to be listening to the inner voice allowing it to guide me.

In each instance when I start to feel that opinionated Grumpy Cindy who used to live in this body, I hear a peaceful voice saying to lose the judgement of others, which is what made me opinionated. I always thought I knew exactly what the one I was about to hurl an opinion at was feeling, doing, living and of course I knew better than they did what they should do. After all, I'm me, someone who knows so much because I'm older than they are. Whew, so glad I grew out of that after over 40 years of thinking that way. It never served me well, caused me stress because these people weren't doing what I wanted them to do and felt they should be doing. I learned to let go. It's none of my business what they do with their lives and in truth, just because I was older, didn't mean I was wiser. Only you know what you have to do and no one should ever force their opinions on you - ever - because they don't know what's best for you. Only YOU know what's best for YOU!

Today I'm watching grandchildren and dealing with the high voltage of a tween of 9, a 6 year old and a 5 year old. I find myself, instinctively wanted to yell at them as loudly as they are yelling at each other. It takes a tick for me to listen to the voice inside and make the outer noises go away briefly so that I may really hear it. It always says: "Take the peaceful approach".

I still have to discipline them, of course. I can't just tune them out completely although it's tempting. My solution was to send one to bed for a nap after a long and apparently not so great day in 1st grade, the tween just left, heading off with the other set of grandparents for dinner and quality time without sharing it with a sibling which is then reciprocated a few days later when they take the other sibling without her and the littlest guy is watching animated TV, happily playing with his LEGO's and waiting for a cookie, his dessert, which comes only after eating dinner.

It would be the old me to try to force you to start listening more to what you already know. Knowing what's good for others as I do is a blessing and a curse, as the awesome TV detective "Monk" used to say. It should never be shared even when asked "what do you think I should do?". My answer these days is: "I can't tell you that. Only you know the answer to that.". My kids get so mad at me when I say that, but in the end, they know I'm right.

I can finally start work on Deepak Chopra's 2nd step towards the Spiritual Law of Success. It's taken 2 years, but I suppose that's not relevant. It doesn't matter how long it takes. It only matters that I finally "get it". It took a long time to learn, listen and really accept what the inner voice is saying. Lots of meditation and quiet time was used to get here.

The first spiritual law's example affirmation is: "I will practice non-judgment. I will begin my day with the statement, 'Today, I shall judge nothing that occurs,' and throughout the day I will remind myself not to judge."

Done! But I'm never really finished with this law or the next 6, once they really click. It is a daily reminder that each day is new, filled with challenges and peaceful moments. I experienced one day of non-judgment and will work again towards the next day and the day after that.

I'd celebrate but I have 6 more to get through and have been working on #2 for a few years too but not like I should. It is "The Law of Giving". Never forgetting the first one because it is part of me now, I can move on to the second. Celebration will be once all 7 have not only been read and practiced, but learned.

Be at peace.


  1. Great and inspirational post! You have inspired me to download my Deepak's audio book onto my mp3 player. It will be good to listen to while on the elliptical.

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